Politics!!! Republican, Democrat, Libertarian Independant TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF

The debate is tonight... it most likely wont decide anything, but many of us will be watching... watching the spinning, the outright lies, the half truths...
I would like to know to what party do you belong to? Identify with?
What traits attributed to your party are true? Outright lies? What are you most proud of that your party stands for? I am truly interested to hear what you have to say!

Wordless Wednesday

A sneak preview!

My Crazy Alaskan Friend

Check her out... HERE
She is funny, bold, tells it like it is and although we disagree often, we still are friends! Funny how real friendship works, isnt it? this POST really shows what she is like!
Enjoy!

Cut & Paste welcome! LOL

My 10 biggest fears

I borrowed this off either my friend Darcies Blog or my other friend Denise's blog
But anyways... its My 10 biggest fears. I think most are the same as all of us.

1. Dying. Not Death... I am OK with being dead... I just don't want to have to go thru the dying part... taking my last breath...will it hurt? Will I cry? Will I have regrets? I hope I do not have many regrets. I hope I lived my life regret free.
To be selfish... I hope people cry for me.

2. My children and my husband dying or getting hurt. I am sure this is every mothers fear (and wife's) to imagine a life without our children... our husband, our reasons to live. Its scary, its terrifying and it is something I hope never happens. I do not want to outlive my children. I complain about them all at times, but to not have them around? I cannot imagine. No laughs, no fighting? no back rubs, no "I love yous" That's not a life I want to live.



3. Spiders and other creepy crawly things. I don't have to explain this one, do I? Resizing this picture made me feel all wierd and creeped out... UGH



4. The dark. I sleep with the lights on in the hallway and closet. I fear the dark in such a primitive way. I don't know how I would have lived in the olden times with no electricity. For punishment when I was younger my mom used to lock me in my room and forbid me to turn the lights on... being a child, I did what she said. Even to this day, this decision on her part is still affecting me. I struggle not to let my fears transfer to my children.

5. Balloons and rubber bands. I have a fear of balloons popping and rubber bands breaking. I don't know why it is so, but it is.

6. I fear murder. I am always afraid I will be murdered, kidnapped and hurt. I think this also stems from my mom reading true Detective magazines... as a kid I looked through them and some of the things I read still haunt me today.

7. Ghosts. Dumb, I know... Yet, I still watch "Most Haunted Live" Its not like I live in a haunted house, or have,,, its just the idea of something or someone there that I cannot see... someone that went through something tragic... It just gives me the heebie jeebies. Right now, while I write this, I have goose bumps!




8. I fear poverty. I have been dirt poor... I fear poverty and not having enough food. I hate that food is something so important in my life. I wish I could just be neutral about it and let it just be an aspect in my life... but I cannot.

9. I fear Doctors. My knees shake, I sweat, I want to cry and run away. I cant eat or sleep... When I had my two children luckily a part of my mind shut down. If I can barely handle a finger prick without freaking out how could I handle giving birth I wondered. I ended up having a C/S and letting my mind go. I had too. I don't know how, but I did it...

10. I fear losing our planet and its species due to our own neglect/apathy/disrespect and being unconcerned. I know many don't believe in global warming... but there has to be consequences for the havoc and pollution we have reigned down on our beautiful planet. I don't want to live a life without Humongous Whales, Proud Lions, Lumbering Elephants and Wily Monkeys. Lets stop living just for ourselves and start realizing the choices we make today are the decisions that are shaping our future.

Max's Birthday Party!

I am inept... CLICK ON PICS TO MAKE THEM BIGGER



We only had a few people over and we combined it with my mom's Birthday. Max isnt officially 2 until 10-19 (also our anniversary) Here are a few crappy pics. I am so jealous of the people who take decent pics... mine are always so choppy!

LOL Look at the huge candle for my mom!!!



GOOFS





My Aunt and the boys

5 things I hate about you

Well, five things I hate about me.

1. I can be judgmental. I am working on this, I notice as my self esteem has gotten better, my need to judge has gotten better. But sometimes without thinking, I still do it. This is the dumbest one though. I judge people just like me and I feel ashamed of myself. Because I am also poor, fat and a slacker mom at times. I am really trying to stop being so judgmental and realize it comes out in me when I am feeling low, when I am feeling worthless. Because I do not like being judged for those reasons and I know I am and I know how it hurts.

2. I hate that I yell at my kids. Not the usual "Italian Momma" yell. That is completely different. That yell is like a culture thing! LOL No, I am talking about mean yelling. I have told my husband to stop me when he sees it. I have been improving due to this. I need to learn that just because they are doing bad things, they do not deserve to be treated without respect and kindness. I have a hot temper and this is a hard one for me... but if I want my boys to grow up with the best I can offer them, I have to learn to stop this behavior.

3. I know I come off as harsh at times... but I wish I were not so emotional about things. I hate seeing animals hurt (sometimes I see cats hit by cars) and letting that affect my whole day, my moods. I hate that I cry and wish I could do something and I let it make me doubt everything.

4. I hate that I am poor. LOL Who wouldn't? I hate that I want to be like other people and go buy my kids $40.00 pairs of shoes and $60.00 outfits from the boutique. I do like the fact that I am unimpressed by wealth and wealthy people... I just hate that I want to be rich... just so I can buy fun things and collect art work and take trips. I wish I could be completely happy with what I have. Because I do realize I have a lot to be thankful for. I have things others wish for. I have an awesome hubby who loves me, helps me, is supportive of me and always does his fair share (if not more) I have awesome friends, a great job and a wonderful (if slightly dysfunctional) family. Why cant I be happy with that?

5. I hate that I am kinda wimpy. I can tell it like it is here, online... but sometimes I have a hard time "in real life" my knees shake, my heart races, I sweat. If I don't speak up, then I regret not doing so and get angry with myself. If I do then I worry about if I said it right, if I made my points. I second guess myself. Sometimes I wish I was a little more assertive. Sometimes I am... but there are times I let things slide and I shouldn't.

So that's my list... Do you have anything to add???

Just a little update on my drama filled life!

Ive been a bit lax about posting and visiting my fave blogs and I am sorry. Drama in our lives sometimes happens and when you have to start fresh and deal with the fallout of an issue that you thought was not an issue... it takes a lot of our time.

My ambiguous post about a "Queen Bee" has been resolved to the best of my ability. Friends that were not true friends have been seen for who they are and friends and acquaintances have proven their kindness, loyalty and love. I feel blessed. Truly. I feel supported, I feel free. Freedom is a heady experience and one I am excited to be feeling. One that I didn't realize I had been missing until I walked away and made a choice, the right choice.

I hope to get back to my normal life ASAP. I am hoping the constant headaches will go away and I can concentrate on my children, hubby, work and blog again without petty drama ruining my days and nights. Its funny how toxic experiences leak into all parts of our lives.

I hope my (few...LOL) loyal readers will excuse my rather self centered posting lately. I started this blog on a whim and I am enjoying the new friends and viewpoints I did not have before. Thank you all for visiting me, sticking around and occasionally indulging me!