Friendships shouldnt be so hard

What is it about some friendships? Why do some connections seem so tenuous and fragile? Why do some sneak up on you and amaze you with their elasticity, their compatibility, their endurance? But why is it that sometimes the effort you make, the allowances, the thought you put into it is for naught?

There has been a little shake-up in my online world... friendships that have come and gone, not for lack of trying. Sometimes I feel like I try too much, and in turn expect far too much. To be connected to people for years and then they drop you, they choose someone over you and they choose not to listen to you when you try to help. Because even the most hurtful person has some good inside of them and although it may be naive to hope (and we know its naive) that they will listen and choose to work on themselves and your friendship... a part of you still gets disappointed when they do not. And I am sorry to say, the immature person inside of me hopes they regret it, hopes they regret the loss. Hopes they realize what a good friend they let slip away.

But then there are the ones who stick around... the ones who put up with you. The ones who care, who tell you when you screw up, who tell you when you are wrong and they expect you to listen and you do. Because you know they love you, care for you and honor your friendship the same as you do for them. And those are the ones who matter most... those are the ones who make the others fade away, make the hurt bearable, make your life worth living. Because true and loyal friends accept you for who you are all the while trying to make you a better you. Those are the ones with whom you shares life's joys and sorrows and you wish you could take on those hardships and you know they would do the same for you.

But still...you wish the ones who you lost could experience it, you wish that for them...even though you could not be the one to share it with them. Perhaps that's what being a true friend is as well... to wish the best for someone even though they could not or will not reciprocate.

I leave you with a few friendship quotes:

“True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.”

"True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value."

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

I apologize

To everyone who has given me an award this last month... its been a struggle to write posts in between work (LOL) and kid time so Ive slacked., Its not that I don't appreciate you all thinking of me and appreciating what I am trying to do here, because I do!!! I appreciate all of the people who visit and especially those who comment!!!
I promise to be better in the future!

Here is to you ALL

Can men and women be platonic friends?

Recently that was the question on a forum I am a member of. Most people said no. I said yes (I like to be contrary...LOL) I said yes because my husband is friends still with a girl he grew up with. Actually we are now friends more than they are (kids bring you together) but I still would not have one, tiny worry in my head if they decided to say, go to lunch...or go to the park with the kids or something.

Is it simply that I have an exceptional hubby? Or do you think I am way off base and wrong?

Are you friends with the opposite sex? Is your Significant other? Do you think platonic friendship between a man and a woman is possible?

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

Leaving the hive and the Queen Bee to fend for herself

Forgive me my few loyal readers for this very public post that you might not have any idea of what I am talking about. I wish to clear the air, have my thoughts out here for the bloggy world to see. I have changed the names of the innocent and guilty! I refuse to have my words taken out of context so here is my explanation for my actions. Perhaps this is wrong of me to do, but as my friendship was tossed out many months ago like an old broken down toy that is not of use anymore... why keep it in? My first loyalty now must go to myself and my friends who have given me the courtesy to listen to me and believe in me and my quite possibly flawed but always good intentions.



Hey Girls!

This is not a goodbye letter/post, this is just my way of telling you why I may not be on the forum anymore. This is not a bash letter either. I don't do that, I am not that type of person. I am leaving and its been a long time coming, the only thing that has kept me there was all of you. I care for all of you. But, I cannot stay and keep my sanity and my self respect because I am unhappy.

Yes, my main issue is with the Queen Bee. I have seen a difference in the Queen Bee and the way she deals with people who do not agree with her and I cannot stand by and just keep my mouth shut, so for me, it is better to leave instead of saying things that will not be considered or pondered. They will be misconstrued as jealousy, or anger or spite and that is not it at all. I would love to stay on in some capacity, but I feel that I cannot. I plan on reconnecting with people that I have been "forbidden" to have anything other than minimal contact with, and I am afraid although my intentions are well meant, it will not be acceptable. I am not leaving because you are unimportant to me, because you are...its just I have to do what I feel is right for me right now. There is a bit more to the situation, but as I said, I do not wish this to be a bash letter.


As I said, the thing that kept me there is all of you and the friendships I have. But I now realize I just cannot let what I feel affect me in this way, or affect the forum in this way. It isn't fair to me or you. Remember though, I am always an e-mail away...please do not hesitate to let me know how you are. No matter what you hear this is my real reason, and I think after all the years you have all known me, you KNOW me... I tell the truth, I tell it like I feel, I do not lie or spread rumors or try to hurt people. That's something I want you to remember if you hear anything that doesn't sound right to you. The trip girls who met me know this is the real me.

I just wanted to let you all know without all the smoke screens, rumors, or spinning that might go along with my departure. I hope I am wrong, or so unimportant now that this will not happen. Maybe no-one will notice I am gone! I hope you can understand where I am coming from and believe me (as you always have before) that what I say here is what is the truth. I was truthful enough to admit fault when I left the board and came back once before. I am not afraid of the truth. I am an honest, if flawed person. Please take care and remember I am always here if you need anything.


Mimi

Eight things worth saving

Usually its ten things...but I am tired and a bit depressed today, so eight it is!!!


1. Friendships... whether new or old. Sometimes yes, we grow apart... but sometimes its laziness and even though we know its something we should do, we don't keep in touch. I miss my friends, my online friends and my pre-baby friends. We have different lives now an its hard to get together. I miss being carefree. I miss my HP girls, all of us together being crazy. We can get that back... it just requires some trust and effort. I think its worth the work. You cant buy better friendships than we have had. (Sorry Wendi, you need to come to Napa so I have a pic with you)





2. Its worth saving cards, letters, clippings. I save all my cards, all the kids cards and its fun to look back and remember. I still have all the cards from my Noni (grandmother) She has been gone more than 2 years now, but when I see her handwriting it makes me happy... it makes me envision her happy and wrinkly face!!! It makes me feel just a little closer to her again. I see my life pass by in cards and letters. Birthdays, then wedding cards, and finally baby cards. My friends, the memories, the people who care about me all enclosed inside a little piece of cardboard. I wonder if my boys will also enjoy looking back. I hope so.


3. The planet... basic yes. We need to start taking responsibility for the damage we have done to the earth and instead of pointing fingers, start working together to help ease the strain we put on our beautiful planet. Unless Mars starts shaping up, this is probably the only one weve got.

4. My sanity!!! LOL Taking time away from my much loved but occasionally annoying and needy kids is a necessity, not a luxury. Yes, a spa day would be lovely, but that is not affordable at this point in my life. I am lucky to have an awesome hubby who watches the boys and encourages me to just get away for awhile... even if I just poke around the thrift store or go to Big Lots... at least that little breather helps my outlook and when I go back home I am refreshed and able to take on the hours and hours of fighting cats and boys! LOL

My innocent boys:



5. My self respect. I have been in unhealthy relationships and situations. At some point you have to "see the light" and realize that although you may love someone and/or something, you have to let go. You have to deal with the loss and hurt and move on. Sometimes life throws some crap at you... its up to us to take what we need from it, what we need to learn from it and then let go.

6. Marriages. All marriages have their challenges. We need to remember what we got married for, what made us believe that this person was "The One" Compromise on things, but keep your integrity. There are simply some things that cannot be compromised or forgiven, in my honest opinion. Cheating without remorse. Abuse, whether verbal or physical. The rest can be worked on, tweaked and hopefully make the partnership stronger without weakening the individuals.



7. Children. Children everywhere deserve parents and/or guardians who care about their welfare, not ones who just care for the welfare check! Parents who do their best to promote kindness, empathy, education, and a social awareness. I complain often about rude and unkind people. I make sure my children are learning that kindness matters, manners make a difference and that education is important. Children really are our future. Its up to us to take our lessons from the past and shape the future through our precious children.

8. Animals and their habitats. Yes Ive heard about "Survival of the fittest" But IMHO, just because we are the dominant species on this planet doesn't mean we can or should ignore the issues that face our little furry (or slimy LOL) friends. Human beings need to understand that just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should. We need to be aware that animal species are disappearing at an alarming rate. There are less birds than there used to be, less bees... Can you imagine a world that had no Tigers, Lions, Elephants? Because its happening. I do not want my grandchildren to read about a Lion in a book because there are none left alive. We need to stop being so selfish and start worrying about things outside of our sphere of influence. I try to do my part, if only in a small fashion. Some things are just worth saving, this is just one of them.

Things I wanna do, but I know better not to

DAMN, why do I have to be the grown up, the one who thinks and then acts? The one who smooths things over?


1. Now, right now... I want to go to Carl's Jr. and get myself a Vanilla Malt, LARGE. Or a green tea smoothie. I will not share.

2. Pretend to be sick, so I can leave work go get that Malt and just sit on my butt and watch General Hospital. I want to watch Nikolas and pretend to waltz with him too.

3. Tell my mom that she needs to appreciate my sister and all she does for her... no matter how bossy my sister is. Deal with her bossiness, or be homeless. Which choice???

4. Tell a friend to stop being so touchy and start looking within and not outward. Its not always the other person who is at fault. It couldn't be, the law of averages says so. So there! LOL

5. Adopt a new kitten. Adopt a homeless kitty... I want a new kitty. I have three I can barely handle. But yet...I want one.

6. Have a baby girl. My husband wants one. I do not want three children... but when I think of a little girl who looks like this
...
not this : LOL It makes me wanna go for it. But being almost 41, I think my mommyhood chances are slipping away, and for good reason.

7. I want to change my blog design my friend SUSAN made me a design, but I don't know how to apply it.. but I want to try. I know I will mess it up. Why am I so inept?

8. I want to tell people off who bash my choice on political candidates. I don't call McCain and Palin names (even though I want to sometimes) so please dont call Obama and Biden names...especially when you have not done your research. Enough said. I wont if you wont.

9. Shut that frickin loud a$$ booming music off. It sounds stupid, you look like an idiot (JMHO) with your window open in 100 degree weather so we can hear your lamentable choice in music, if you can call it that.

10. Sit on my big booty and surf the net while at work...enter blog contests, ignore my work and write blog posts... OH, wait. I am doing that. At least I get some satisfaction.

Friendships lost and found.

I admit I am into my mommy forum. But as is bound to happen in large groups of women... DRAMA. The Internet is such a huge place, we hide behind screen names and cutesy avatars and pretend to be "Minxy Mimi" or "Peaches and Cream" or whomever we feel like being for the day. I always strive to be who I am, but sometimes my personality and posts are not taken as they are written.

Drama happens, and in most cases, its never one persons fault, its rarely clear cut, crystal clear or beyond the shadow of a doubt... life would be much simpler if it were. Personalities, priorities, and just plain old differences of thought, opinion and how we respond to things make us drift apart where we once were getting closer.

What we are left with is nagging doubts, a feeling of being left behind, a feeling of sadness knowing that friends we have shared so much with are now in some '"Never Never Land"... part of another board, making new friends (maybe cooler ones) and growing away from us.

In my heart of hearts I know that people who have moved on have made mistakes such as I have, have been right and have been wrong and are maybe feeling the same way I do. Although I hesitate to wish ill on anyone else, I wish for all of the friends that have moved on to know this feeling, to know that friends are worth fighting for and fighting with, as long as we do it together.

((Hugs)) to all that have been left behind and all that have moved on. All of you changed my life, even if its in the most minute way. I thank you all.