The joys of motherhood

How true these words ring:

"So when the great word 'Mother!' rang once more,
I saw at last its meaning and its place;
Not the blind passion of the brooding past,
But Mother -- the World's Mother -- come at last,
To love as she had never loved before --
To feed and guard and teach the human race." -- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Except of course when you have kids like mine. This is based on a True Story.



Sweet? Innocent? Adorable?
Adorable... I think yes. The rest, I think not!

Unless of course the Little People cow and farmer like residing in the toilet with the refuse of the humans who own them. I mean, they could perhaps. Personally I doubt it. Good thing my husband has patience and kindness coursing through his veins. and a good wrench. Because he had to take that toilet apart to rescue those poor toys. Now they are resting in the landfill. RIP

And I guess the baby powder was just asking to be "set free" from the shackles of its plastic prison. My boys answered the call to action and freed the oppressed mass (of powder) Mommy, however is more of a tyrant. I put the newly released powder in another prison... a vacuum bag. Except for the escapees that managed to elude the vacuum. I just rubbed them into oblivion. I feel like Saddam. But I am cuter. and I don't live in a hole. At least not at the moment. I may do so to escape my kids. As long as I have wireless, I will be OK!

Ahhh, the joys of motherhood... Yes, even with all the naughtiness, mouthiness and fighting my kids do I still love them. What mother wouldn't? Because being a mother is an enormous responsibility, a wonderful and scary gift. A blessing, a curse. All of those wrapped into a little body full of energy, sweetness, brattiness, rebellion, and immense love. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Quoteable Sunday!

Once again its time for Toni's Quotable Sunday. Toni over at A Daily Dose of Toni started this and its so fun! Do your own and head on over and sign her Mr. Linky and join in!

Since my son just turned 4 I am doing this Sunday's quotes on Motherhood.

“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
~Erma Bombeck~

“When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves her; and when forty, he makes her young again.”
~Leon Blum~

How true! I am 40 and I can agree with this statement.

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

"To understand a mother's love, bear your own children."

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.”
~Barbara Katz Rothman~

"There is none, In all this cold and hollow world, no fount Of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within A mother's heart."
~ Mrs. Felicia D. Hemans~

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his."
~Oscar Wilde~

This scares me.

I am that mom

I am that mom (the one you always shake your head at, the one you wonder if they were raised in a barn...LOL) Yes, I am that mom who:

1. Lets their kids run in the grocery store. Not hog wild, knocking down the elderly and the infirm... I let them run from one end of the aisle to the other *if* no-one is in the aisle with me... grocery shopping is boring. Kids get bored, so I let them get their excess energy out and try to make it fun. Yes, they are loud, they are crazy...but they are normal, fun loving boys. I do check them sometimes!

2. I am that mom who to the horror of my wonderful Mother in law (who might read this... LOL) gives their kids medicine that was not prescribed to them. Let me clarify. My son Jack got the Croup and had to go to the hospital for a breathing treatment and some meds to the tune of $75.00 we don't really have to spare. My son Max then got a mild case so I gave him some of Jack's medicine for a day... maybe its risky, I don't think so really... my mom did it for us and we are fine! I guess I trust my own instincts sometimes.

3. I am that mom who lets their kids have a piece of candy, some chips and OMG (lock me up now) a sprite on special occasions eating out! All things in moderation is my motto. I truly believe the more you stigmatize sugar and sweets as all bad in all quantities, the more you run the risk of having a fat child/adult. Children denied may become adults who gorge. JMHO I don't think that food (for the most part) should be treated as almost evil... it just adds to the appeal.

4. I am that mom who doesn't worry about germs. I do not wipe the grocery cart down, (unless I pass right by the sanitizing wipes and it reminds me) I don't use a cart cover, I don't wipe the toys down every week to kill germs, I don't wash their hands and faces if a. a dog kisses them or b. they pet our cats, or c. they touch another child who looks perfectly well. Germs are necessary to strengthen the immune system in early years so that germs later on don't kick your butt into submission. My mom did not worry about this so I (like my kids now) was rarely sick.

5. I am that mom who doesn't follow trends, I didn't teach my child baby signs. Honestly, I know it would be helpful before they can really talk to let you know if they are thirsty, hungry, wet... but beyond that I do not see a huge value in this. I have a cousin who faithfully taught her daughter and son baby signs (they are the same age as Jack and Max) and her daughter spoke later and less than my son Jack. Her son was about the same as my son Max. No difference at all. My son Jack gets praised by Doctors, and many random people for his large vocabulary, his ability to follow directions and his understanding of words and phrases that some kids his age do not. My son Max is well on his way to mirror those accomplishments...all without the uber trendy baby signs. Sometimes just old fashioned learning is all that's needed.

There are many more actually... I am one of those people who do what I feel is best, I listen and research and make an informed decision based on a combination of facts and gut feelings. I do not take my duties as a mother lightly. But I also know that I am a smart, educated and informed woman who can make a choice for my child without having to consult with other moms to get approval for my actions. I am that mom. I am that mom who instills confidence, who gives unconditional love. I am that mom who makes mistakes, but I am that mom who shows her children how to learn from them. I am that mom who lets their children be kids. That is all I can expect or want from them. Except I hope they do the same for their kids too.

A mother's worst nightmare

Jack just scared me to death.

I sometimes let my boys play outside in our fenced backyard while I get dressed for work ... I crack the window and check on them every few minutes. We have a fenced backyard that is child proof and locked up tight! All of a sudden I hear Max crying at the door, I let him in and call for Jack... no answer, I scream, I yell, I say I am not mad... no answer. OMG, I about died. I was thinking someone climbed over the 8foot tall fence and took him or he fell and his head was bashed in and he couldn't answer.

The scenarios of what may have happened were running through my head as I frantically searched the small back yard, screaming and crying and trying to breathe through my complete and utter panic. The worst things a mom can think of ran through my head in a manner of seconds.

I was freaking out and crying... ready to call the police...then I come in and call again for him... he was on the couch!!! He decided to come in and not tell me. OMG. Of course I yell at him for scaring me and he cries while I cry and work through my anger and fear. Anger at myself for letting them play outside for even a minute alone, (even though there really is no risk, but we still doubt ourselves and everything we do at times like these) fear of losing one of the most important people in my life. Thank goodness Jack was just fine.

So, if I ever doubted my maternal feelings, or doubted I was a good and caring mother...this proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that although my actions may be flawed, I may make mistakes and say and do the wrong thing... I know this: I love my kids more than I love my own life. I would have died to keep my son safe. I will never doubt that again.

Breast Feeding and Formula Feeding... Why so heated?

Well, answer me why? I wish I knew. I am an advocate for Formula Feeding...so of course I am going to blog about my experiences from this POV. I never wanted to BF (this will stand for Breastfeeding and FF for Formula feeding) tried 2 times with my first born (due to pressure) and decided to FF. I KNEW this was right for me, I didn't get to the ripe old age of 36 not knowing what I wanted to do, or what would work for myself and my hubby. I am a decisive person, usually not easily influenced by anyone... but the pressure is so heavy towards BF, that I caved. I felt hounded, resentful and I felt like I was being judged... because I was. I got looks, I got comments when I bought formula... the lack of manners and kindness was appalling. I was a new mother, struggling with PPD (and didn't realize it) no sleep, and the uncertainty of having a new baby was overwhelming, even though I have the most helpful and accommodating husband around. I felt bad enough without other mothers putting me and my choices down.

Lets face it, there are SOME BF mothers that give off and have this attitude that they are better mothers for having BF. (I am aware of a BF forum that has bashed FF moms and said "No matter what those FF moms say, they are not bonded to their babies like WE are" Um... excuse my language but that's Bull Shit. How would they know how other moms bond? How can they be inside the heart and soul of FF mothers (or any other mothers for that matter) and "know" this is true. Its sad, and immature. I love my children with an intensity and love that I never dreamed of feeling... how could anyone feel "more" love. Its simply ridiculous. And yes, Ive heard all the benefits of BF (although the immunity thing, and baby being less sick I never understood... my babies were rarely ill, and all the while I saw many BF women's babies get illness after illness... I came to the conclusion that we are just pre-disposed to getting sick more than others), and I made an educated desision about it, and I did what was right for myself, my family and my baby.

I also find it sad that women who cannot BF, or had a hard time with BF, feel the need to explain their choices, to explain why they couldn't or didn't BF, its like you have to have a good excuse or the extreme advocates will tell you why you should have tried harder and why you made the wrong choice and why you needed to work it through... as mothers lets STOP defending every choice we make... as long as we don't hurt our babies (and no matter how many studies that are made none have shown a baby will perish or be an imbecile because of FF) Lets just be happy and be strong in our convictions and stop wanting or needing the approval of others to do what we feel is right for us.

Of course many BF and FF mothers do not bash the other side, but the ones that do are contributing to making the gap between the two sides so much wider. Out the window the compassion, the understanding, the kindness go...to be replaced with superiority, smirks, and judgement.

I know many, many BF advocates... they are kind, decent women. This post is about the ones who are not. And maybe, just maybe some of the other BF women will realize how WE are judged, how we are treated unkindly and maybe, just maybe mothers, all mother BF, FF or whatever... will start worrying about their own choices and stop worrying about someone elses and the choices they made for themselves and their family.

This is not meant to bash, this is meant to show how we FF are treated... you hear so much about BF mothers, how they are treated, how they are discriminated against, and I think its wrong... but here is another side of the story, and here is what many mothers may feel, but are too afraid to say. Because FF moms have the same issues, we face discrimination, censure and unkindness as well. Just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I wish it would stop from both sides... how can we as a nation, a world get along if we continually refuse to see or tolerate anothers POV or choices?