I've moved to Substack!
2 months ago
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Leaving the hive and the Queen Bee to fend for herself
Forgive me my few loyal readers for this very public post that you might not have any idea of what I am talking about. I wish to clear the air, have my thoughts out here for the bloggy world to see. I have changed the names of the innocent and guilty! I refuse to have my words taken out of context so here is my explanation for my actions. Perhaps this is wrong of me to do, but as my friendship was tossed out many months ago like an old broken down toy that is not of use anymore... why keep it in? My first loyalty now must go to myself and my friends who have given me the courtesy to listen to me and believe in me and my quite possibly flawed but always good intentions.
Hey Girls!
This is not a goodbye letter/post, this is just my way of telling you why I may not be on the forum anymore. This is not a bash letter either. I don't do that, I am not that type of person. I am leaving and its been a long time coming, the only thing that has kept me there was all of you. I care for all of you. But, I cannot stay and keep my sanity and my self respect because I am unhappy.
Yes, my main issue is with the Queen Bee. I have seen a difference in the Queen Bee and the way she deals with people who do not agree with her and I cannot stand by and just keep my mouth shut, so for me, it is better to leave instead of saying things that will not be considered or pondered. They will be misconstrued as jealousy, or anger or spite and that is not it at all. I would love to stay on in some capacity, but I feel that I cannot. I plan on reconnecting with people that I have been "forbidden" to have anything other than minimal contact with, and I am afraid although my intentions are well meant, it will not be acceptable. I am not leaving because you are unimportant to me, because you are...its just I have to do what I feel is right for me right now. There is a bit more to the situation, but as I said, I do not wish this to be a bash letter.
As I said, the thing that kept me there is all of you and the friendships I have. But I now realize I just cannot let what I feel affect me in this way, or affect the forum in this way. It isn't fair to me or you. Remember though, I am always an e-mail away...please do not hesitate to let me know how you are. No matter what you hear this is my real reason, and I think after all the years you have all known me, you KNOW me... I tell the truth, I tell it like I feel, I do not lie or spread rumors or try to hurt people. That's something I want you to remember if you hear anything that doesn't sound right to you. The trip girls who met me know this is the real me.
I just wanted to let you all know without all the smoke screens, rumors, or spinning that might go along with my departure. I hope I am wrong, or so unimportant now that this will not happen. Maybe no-one will notice I am gone! I hope you can understand where I am coming from and believe me (as you always have before) that what I say here is what is the truth. I was truthful enough to admit fault when I left the board and came back once before. I am not afraid of the truth. I am an honest, if flawed person. Please take care and remember I am always here if you need anything.
Mimi
Hey Girls!
This is not a goodbye letter/post, this is just my way of telling you why I may not be on the forum anymore. This is not a bash letter either. I don't do that, I am not that type of person. I am leaving and its been a long time coming, the only thing that has kept me there was all of you. I care for all of you. But, I cannot stay and keep my sanity and my self respect because I am unhappy.
Yes, my main issue is with the Queen Bee. I have seen a difference in the Queen Bee and the way she deals with people who do not agree with her and I cannot stand by and just keep my mouth shut, so for me, it is better to leave instead of saying things that will not be considered or pondered. They will be misconstrued as jealousy, or anger or spite and that is not it at all. I would love to stay on in some capacity, but I feel that I cannot. I plan on reconnecting with people that I have been "forbidden" to have anything other than minimal contact with, and I am afraid although my intentions are well meant, it will not be acceptable. I am not leaving because you are unimportant to me, because you are...its just I have to do what I feel is right for me right now. There is a bit more to the situation, but as I said, I do not wish this to be a bash letter.
As I said, the thing that kept me there is all of you and the friendships I have. But I now realize I just cannot let what I feel affect me in this way, or affect the forum in this way. It isn't fair to me or you. Remember though, I am always an e-mail away...please do not hesitate to let me know how you are. No matter what you hear this is my real reason, and I think after all the years you have all known me, you KNOW me... I tell the truth, I tell it like I feel, I do not lie or spread rumors or try to hurt people. That's something I want you to remember if you hear anything that doesn't sound right to you. The trip girls who met me know this is the real me.
I just wanted to let you all know without all the smoke screens, rumors, or spinning that might go along with my departure. I hope I am wrong, or so unimportant now that this will not happen. Maybe no-one will notice I am gone! I hope you can understand where I am coming from and believe me (as you always have before) that what I say here is what is the truth. I was truthful enough to admit fault when I left the board and came back once before. I am not afraid of the truth. I am an honest, if flawed person. Please take care and remember I am always here if you need anything.
Mimi
Eight things worth saving
Usually its ten things...but I am tired and a bit depressed today, so eight it is!!!
1. Friendships... whether new or old. Sometimes yes, we grow apart... but sometimes its laziness and even though we know its something we should do, we don't keep in touch. I miss my friends, my online friends and my pre-baby friends. We have different lives now an its hard to get together. I miss being carefree. I miss my HP girls, all of us together being crazy. We can get that back... it just requires some trust and effort. I think its worth the work. You cant buy better friendships than we have had. (Sorry Wendi, you need to come to Napa so I have a pic with you)
2. Its worth saving cards, letters, clippings. I save all my cards, all the kids cards and its fun to look back and remember. I still have all the cards from my Noni (grandmother) She has been gone more than 2 years now, but when I see her handwriting it makes me happy... it makes me envision her happy and wrinkly face!!! It makes me feel just a little closer to her again. I see my life pass by in cards and letters. Birthdays, then wedding cards, and finally baby cards. My friends, the memories, the people who care about me all enclosed inside a little piece of cardboard. I wonder if my boys will also enjoy looking back. I hope so.
3. The planet... basic yes. We need to start taking responsibility for the damage we have done to the earth and instead of pointing fingers, start working together to help ease the strain we put on our beautiful planet. Unless Mars starts shaping up, this is probably the only one weve got.
4. My sanity!!! LOL Taking time away from my much loved but occasionally annoying and needy kids is a necessity, not a luxury. Yes, a spa day would be lovely, but that is not affordable at this point in my life. I am lucky to have an awesome hubby who watches the boys and encourages me to just get away for awhile... even if I just poke around the thrift store or go to Big Lots... at least that little breather helps my outlook and when I go back home I am refreshed and able to take on the hours and hours of fighting cats and boys! LOL
My innocent boys:
5. My self respect. I have been in unhealthy relationships and situations. At some point you have to "see the light" and realize that although you may love someone and/or something, you have to let go. You have to deal with the loss and hurt and move on. Sometimes life throws some crap at you... its up to us to take what we need from it, what we need to learn from it and then let go.
6. Marriages. All marriages have their challenges. We need to remember what we got married for, what made us believe that this person was "The One" Compromise on things, but keep your integrity. There are simply some things that cannot be compromised or forgiven, in my honest opinion. Cheating without remorse. Abuse, whether verbal or physical. The rest can be worked on, tweaked and hopefully make the partnership stronger without weakening the individuals.
7. Children. Children everywhere deserve parents and/or guardians who care about their welfare, not ones who just care for the welfare check! Parents who do their best to promote kindness, empathy, education, and a social awareness. I complain often about rude and unkind people. I make sure my children are learning that kindness matters, manners make a difference and that education is important. Children really are our future. Its up to us to take our lessons from the past and shape the future through our precious children.
8. Animals and their habitats. Yes Ive heard about "Survival of the fittest" But IMHO, just because we are the dominant species on this planet doesn't mean we can or should ignore the issues that face our little furry (or slimy LOL) friends. Human beings need to understand that just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should. We need to be aware that animal species are disappearing at an alarming rate. There are less birds than there used to be, less bees... Can you imagine a world that had no Tigers, Lions, Elephants? Because its happening. I do not want my grandchildren to read about a Lion in a book because there are none left alive. We need to stop being so selfish and start worrying about things outside of our sphere of influence. I try to do my part, if only in a small fashion. Some things are just worth saving, this is just one of them.
1. Friendships... whether new or old. Sometimes yes, we grow apart... but sometimes its laziness and even though we know its something we should do, we don't keep in touch. I miss my friends, my online friends and my pre-baby friends. We have different lives now an its hard to get together. I miss being carefree. I miss my HP girls, all of us together being crazy. We can get that back... it just requires some trust and effort. I think its worth the work. You cant buy better friendships than we have had. (Sorry Wendi, you need to come to Napa so I have a pic with you)
2. Its worth saving cards, letters, clippings. I save all my cards, all the kids cards and its fun to look back and remember. I still have all the cards from my Noni (grandmother) She has been gone more than 2 years now, but when I see her handwriting it makes me happy... it makes me envision her happy and wrinkly face!!! It makes me feel just a little closer to her again. I see my life pass by in cards and letters. Birthdays, then wedding cards, and finally baby cards. My friends, the memories, the people who care about me all enclosed inside a little piece of cardboard. I wonder if my boys will also enjoy looking back. I hope so.
3. The planet... basic yes. We need to start taking responsibility for the damage we have done to the earth and instead of pointing fingers, start working together to help ease the strain we put on our beautiful planet. Unless Mars starts shaping up, this is probably the only one weve got.
4. My sanity!!! LOL Taking time away from my much loved but occasionally annoying and needy kids is a necessity, not a luxury. Yes, a spa day would be lovely, but that is not affordable at this point in my life. I am lucky to have an awesome hubby who watches the boys and encourages me to just get away for awhile... even if I just poke around the thrift store or go to Big Lots... at least that little breather helps my outlook and when I go back home I am refreshed and able to take on the hours and hours of fighting cats and boys! LOL
My innocent boys:
5. My self respect. I have been in unhealthy relationships and situations. At some point you have to "see the light" and realize that although you may love someone and/or something, you have to let go. You have to deal with the loss and hurt and move on. Sometimes life throws some crap at you... its up to us to take what we need from it, what we need to learn from it and then let go.
6. Marriages. All marriages have their challenges. We need to remember what we got married for, what made us believe that this person was "The One" Compromise on things, but keep your integrity. There are simply some things that cannot be compromised or forgiven, in my honest opinion. Cheating without remorse. Abuse, whether verbal or physical. The rest can be worked on, tweaked and hopefully make the partnership stronger without weakening the individuals.
7. Children. Children everywhere deserve parents and/or guardians who care about their welfare, not ones who just care for the welfare check! Parents who do their best to promote kindness, empathy, education, and a social awareness. I complain often about rude and unkind people. I make sure my children are learning that kindness matters, manners make a difference and that education is important. Children really are our future. Its up to us to take our lessons from the past and shape the future through our precious children.
8. Animals and their habitats. Yes Ive heard about "Survival of the fittest" But IMHO, just because we are the dominant species on this planet doesn't mean we can or should ignore the issues that face our little furry (or slimy LOL) friends. Human beings need to understand that just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should. We need to be aware that animal species are disappearing at an alarming rate. There are less birds than there used to be, less bees... Can you imagine a world that had no Tigers, Lions, Elephants? Because its happening. I do not want my grandchildren to read about a Lion in a book because there are none left alive. We need to stop being so selfish and start worrying about things outside of our sphere of influence. I try to do my part, if only in a small fashion. Some things are just worth saving, this is just one of them.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Daycare dilemma's... Finding the right second home for your children
This post was too good to not post again. My friend Laura atConfessions of a diet coke addict ran a spotlight on working moms, this was my guest post. But I decided to run it here as well since I liked the way it turned out. I hope you enjoy!
Daycare dilemmas... many working moms deal with this. The lucky ones save time and anxiety if they are fortunate enough to have family to watch their precious children. I was a Stay at home mom, but for financial reasons I decided to go back to work about a year ago. So, daycare... I never thought much about it, never thought I would have to go back to work... but they day came and now it was time to search for a place that my boys would call their second home. (I am lucky my in-laws watch them 2 days a week)
First stop... An inexpensive but slightly chaotic SAHM daycare. While I enjoyed the activity and proximity to the park, I decided the runny noses on every kid at the daycare was something I could not handle. Well, actually...it wasn't the runny noses, it was the fact that the daycare providers did not seem to notice or wipe them,... Can we say EWWW?
Second stop... Pre-school environment mom and dad. They were very serious about it all, they seemed nice but a bit too rigid for me. I think maybe this:
Blanket made them want to go "EWWWW", I was told that Jack's blanket AKA "Dee Dee" could stay at home I was leaning towards leaving but when they stopped before the massive picture of Jesus in the foyer and went on about "like minded people" I knew that it was not the right place for us.
Third... Montessori... brings up visions of children playing, laughing, learning all in a cookie cutter perfect "trendy and acceptable" manner. I liked the idea of it, and I liked the atmosphere (even if it was a bit too earnest in a way) but the price tag made me stop in my tracks. 1/4 more per child was not right for our budget.
Fourth... Another SAHM of two girls. When I walked in her house I knew it was a good fit. Yes, they probably watch more TV than they need too, but Casey was sweet, kind, calm and NORMAL! I knew it wouldn't be a huge learning experience for them, at least in the book sense... but it would be a way for them to learn to play with others and get along with many different types of personalities. At last... a second home!
Now they have been there a year. Yes, of course they do not want to leave mommy and they make me feel guilty when they grab my legs and tell me "Don't go mama" but as soon as I leave, I look in the glass door and I see them smiling, laughing and playing! They talk about Casey and they say they love her. So although I work and I leave my children in daycare, I am happy to know that I am raising happy, healthy, well adjusted kids...with a little help from my wonderful daycare provider, Casey!
Daycare dilemmas... many working moms deal with this. The lucky ones save time and anxiety if they are fortunate enough to have family to watch their precious children. I was a Stay at home mom, but for financial reasons I decided to go back to work about a year ago. So, daycare... I never thought much about it, never thought I would have to go back to work... but they day came and now it was time to search for a place that my boys would call their second home. (I am lucky my in-laws watch them 2 days a week)
First stop... An inexpensive but slightly chaotic SAHM daycare. While I enjoyed the activity and proximity to the park, I decided the runny noses on every kid at the daycare was something I could not handle. Well, actually...it wasn't the runny noses, it was the fact that the daycare providers did not seem to notice or wipe them,... Can we say EWWW?
Second stop... Pre-school environment mom and dad. They were very serious about it all, they seemed nice but a bit too rigid for me. I think maybe this:
Blanket made them want to go "EWWWW", I was told that Jack's blanket AKA "Dee Dee" could stay at home I was leaning towards leaving but when they stopped before the massive picture of Jesus in the foyer and went on about "like minded people" I knew that it was not the right place for us. Third... Montessori... brings up visions of children playing, laughing, learning all in a cookie cutter perfect "trendy and acceptable" manner. I liked the idea of it, and I liked the atmosphere (even if it was a bit too earnest in a way) but the price tag made me stop in my tracks. 1/4 more per child was not right for our budget.
Fourth... Another SAHM of two girls. When I walked in her house I knew it was a good fit. Yes, they probably watch more TV than they need too, but Casey was sweet, kind, calm and NORMAL! I knew it wouldn't be a huge learning experience for them, at least in the book sense... but it would be a way for them to learn to play with others and get along with many different types of personalities. At last... a second home!
Now they have been there a year. Yes, of course they do not want to leave mommy and they make me feel guilty when they grab my legs and tell me "Don't go mama" but as soon as I leave, I look in the glass door and I see them smiling, laughing and playing! They talk about Casey and they say they love her. So although I work and I leave my children in daycare, I am happy to know that I am raising happy, healthy, well adjusted kids...with a little help from my wonderful daycare provider, Casey!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
5 things you may not have known about me!
1. I was born and raised Catholic. I assume most Italians are! But my mom who is flaky at best and my dad who was never consistently around did not pursue it. So, although I am a professed Agnostic, I do have roots in religion, as I think most Agnostics and Atheists do.
2. I am a third generation Californian. When you live in such a populated state, people who have been here only 10 years seem like natives! My family has been here since at least the early 1900's probably before... I don't know when some of my cousins actually came here. My grandmother's mother came here in the 20's to join cousins after her husband died of influenza in Utah. They bought a house and land and farmed, even though my Noni is gone just over 2 years, my Aunt still owns the house and land. They previously owned a store that catered to miners in Bingham County, Utah. Noni came with her mom and 2 brothers to the San Martin/Gilroy area... most of my family is still there.
3. I have 3 sisters and a brother. I have not met one brother and one sister.(They are half brother/sister to me) The one sister I have not met was on the news many years ago. Her baby was stolen at Alta Bates Medical Center here in Cali... the baby was found alive and well. I would like to know her and my brother but its been so many years... I wonder if there is resentment, anger or what? I have no idea. I am the product of a marriage, they are not. These days it doesn't really seem to matter, but to some it still does.... who knows what they think, or if they even care to know me.
4. I am obsessed with all things Harry Potter... OH, wait!!! I think you might have known that! The writing is amazing, the message is inspiring, the characters are riveting. The hype is true... I cried my eyes out and laughed my head off with every book. I discovered the books before the hype started (otherwise I might not have read them because I would think that they couldn't possibly be that good) but they are. Read them STAT!!! LOL I do have to say it really pisses me off when people say they are bad, evil, or promoting witchcraft! The main theme of the book is love, friendship, and the triumph of good over evil. It shows how a mothers love saved Harry from an evil man who tried to kill him, it shows how people who court evil and do evil, pay for their deeds in the end. Read the books before making judgments...you will be glad you did.
5. I enjoy going to gay bars. Love them! Not the women hating ones... the fun ones where the men love women and everything about them! I have never felt such acceptance before and haven't since. I used to go every Wednesday to "Hamburger Mary's" in San Jose, CA back in the late 1990's. I worked at Nordstom Dept store in Santa Clara as a line cook and I worked with quite a few gay/lesbian people. My friend Jen invited me to go with her and her girlfriend. I had a great time and pretty soon we were all going... gay, straight, Bi...didn't matter. We went to have fun and dance, dance, dance! I also met my first "real" boyfriend there... wish I hadn't...but that's another story, and one you wont hear in lists like these!
So, that's the skinny on me... I hope you enjoyed reading this and learning more about yours truly!
2. I am a third generation Californian. When you live in such a populated state, people who have been here only 10 years seem like natives! My family has been here since at least the early 1900's probably before... I don't know when some of my cousins actually came here. My grandmother's mother came here in the 20's to join cousins after her husband died of influenza in Utah. They bought a house and land and farmed, even though my Noni is gone just over 2 years, my Aunt still owns the house and land. They previously owned a store that catered to miners in Bingham County, Utah. Noni came with her mom and 2 brothers to the San Martin/Gilroy area... most of my family is still there.
3. I have 3 sisters and a brother. I have not met one brother and one sister.(They are half brother/sister to me) The one sister I have not met was on the news many years ago. Her baby was stolen at Alta Bates Medical Center here in Cali... the baby was found alive and well. I would like to know her and my brother but its been so many years... I wonder if there is resentment, anger or what? I have no idea. I am the product of a marriage, they are not. These days it doesn't really seem to matter, but to some it still does.... who knows what they think, or if they even care to know me.
4. I am obsessed with all things Harry Potter... OH, wait!!! I think you might have known that! The writing is amazing, the message is inspiring, the characters are riveting. The hype is true... I cried my eyes out and laughed my head off with every book. I discovered the books before the hype started (otherwise I might not have read them because I would think that they couldn't possibly be that good) but they are. Read them STAT!!! LOL I do have to say it really pisses me off when people say they are bad, evil, or promoting witchcraft! The main theme of the book is love, friendship, and the triumph of good over evil. It shows how a mothers love saved Harry from an evil man who tried to kill him, it shows how people who court evil and do evil, pay for their deeds in the end. Read the books before making judgments...you will be glad you did.
5. I enjoy going to gay bars. Love them! Not the women hating ones... the fun ones where the men love women and everything about them! I have never felt such acceptance before and haven't since. I used to go every Wednesday to "Hamburger Mary's" in San Jose, CA back in the late 1990's. I worked at Nordstom Dept store in Santa Clara as a line cook and I worked with quite a few gay/lesbian people. My friend Jen invited me to go with her and her girlfriend. I had a great time and pretty soon we were all going... gay, straight, Bi...didn't matter. We went to have fun and dance, dance, dance! I also met my first "real" boyfriend there... wish I hadn't...but that's another story, and one you wont hear in lists like these!
So, that's the skinny on me... I hope you enjoyed reading this and learning more about yours truly!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I won a blog award! YAY
Susan over at What happened to my house? Gave Little old ME this blog award!!! Thanks Susan!
Here is how the Brilliant Weblog Award works . . .
The person giving the award chooses blogs that they consider brilliant in their content or design. In return, the recipient is expected to choose a minimum of 5-7 blogs that they like. They leave comments on these blogs to notify the winners. They then post about receiving the award on their blog (like this) and list their choices with links. They also include a mention of whom they received the award and include a link. Pictures are great, but not necessary.
Here are the 5 "brilliant" blogs to which I would like to pass this award along:
1. Toni at
A Daily Dose of Toni
2. Aggie at The universe according to Agata
3. Darcie at Mommy on the edge
4. Denise at Laughing with spoons
5. Last, but not least!
Simply anonymom
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