A poem for my internet friends

I truly do appreciate you all~


For My Friend
by Carol Miller


across the miles
you touched my life,
opened my eyes, and
filled my empty heart-

strangers, yet friends,
our spirits reach out,
always touching, never apart- -

you in the east,
me in the west,
never together,
never apart- -

I think Ive been a naughty girl. I need to confess my sins.

OK, so as a few of you who have read my blog, I think I am a mature, kind, unbiased (to some extent) dare I say an even tempered and humor finding person? Well, yes... I did dare to say it, didn't I? So, I have been aware of my tendency to live in the past, to carry on hurts, to have a hard time forgiving and forgetting. I think I transfer my anger and disappointment in people into sarcastic comments and ambiguous blog posts and comments. Its not well done of me, but it is me. Its hard to change a life long character trait...or flaw. Depending on who you ask.

I am aware that every post I make, or comment I make is probably suspect, or suspected to be something more... sometimes it is, sometimes not. Or maybe I am just fooling myself that this person ever really cared for me at all, or still does think of me. I just wish that I could pretend to not care, not feel hurt and not still feel the indignation and anger that flares up in me when I least expect it. Thank goodness it gets better every day.

I have to say this: You were wrong, you made mistakes and you HURT good, kind people. You hurt me, and I was loyal for a long time, way too long. And yes, "You" know who you are. I was not blameless... but I have admitted my part in things, admitted my faults... too bad self-knowledge and the want and need for it, isn't something you can gift to another. Because I would give you this gift. You would find yourself to be a flawed person... but I think by cutting out the things that are bad in ourselves, we graft in the good. I know it has worked this way for me.

So, I know this post once again will make no sense to a few people...but its something I needed to say. Because I cannot say it to the person I would like to... that person would not listen. It makes me sad actually. Sad that in order to be right, that person has thrown away good friends. I also know that no matter what I say, this post will just be excused and disregarded as jealousy, spite, unkindness... Just think of it as one last loyal deed I have done for you. I am still loyal enough to want for you what I think you could have, could have had. Not kiss-ups, not yes men but Real Friendship. Real friends who tell you what you want to hear, and what you don't. That is real friendship and a gift worth risking everything for.

My Crazy Alaskan Friend

Check her out... HERE
She is funny, bold, tells it like it is and although we disagree often, we still are friends! Funny how real friendship works, isnt it? this POST really shows what she is like!
Enjoy!

Cut & Paste welcome! LOL

Why do people want to bash you behind your back in the blogging world?

I think in real life too. Its kinda sad and kinda pathetic at the same time. This post Real men inspired controversy with someone who in turn instead of letting ME know via a comment that she felt I was wrong, she blogged about it and basically bashed me without my being able to defend myself, or my words. We all know on the Internet, things are not always as they seem...words get misconstrued, feelings cannot be gauged by another... so to just blog about my post and not give me the benefit of the doubt seems almost cowardly to me. Actually, I did mean what I said with the exception of alluding to that those types of men are losers. I know they are not, hunting is just a huge deal for me and I am too much of an animal lover to ever consider hunting for nothing but fun and pleasure (excluding food, shelter ect) to be anything but barbaric. That is truly JMHO, I cannot reconcile it in *my* head. I can not look a man in the eyes who looked an animal in the eyes and killed them and ENJOYED it. That's just me. But hey... that person did not give me the chance to elaborate explain or even apologize (as if...LOL) I have many friends who's hubby's hunt so I know I may piss them off with my attitude, but in the spirit of friendship or even making new friends...most tend to ask first and attack later!!! But LOL to the person who did blog about me. I kinda got a kick out of it, I felt important LOL !!! YAY