Monday, January 19, 2009

Do you feel the same?

As I sit here blogging this post, my son woke up 2 hours too early and I am so annoyed with my lack of "me" time that I am not playing with him, and I am slightly resentful. I woke up at 5:30 AM just to have an hour alone... well guess who woke at 5:45 AM? Jack!!!

I love my boys so much. But my lack of alone time upsets me, tires me and makes me feel a slight resentment. I know I only have two children, and many other moms who stay at home have it worse...but for some reason I have a hard time letting go of my pre-mom days when I had time to myself to read, play, talk on the phone, take a bath or lay with my cats. I just want an hour or two... is that too much to ask?

I know its not just me... But I start feeling like the more I feel this way, the worse my kids will be. They are not "bad" kids...but they have their issues, their bad days, their good days. I guess just like me. I know being a mom is about sacrificing...but sometimes I want to be selfish and do what I want...

So, I am off to play with my son. It would help me to know that sometimes you all feel this way, and sometimes you are not a perfect mom and ignore your kids for 15 minutes, it would help to know I am not the only crazy person getting up at 5:30 AM just to be alone!!!

19 comments:

R.L.Scovens said...

This is how I feel in the evenings. I enjoy relaxing from like 7pm til about 10pm. I like to watch tv ALONE. My son is 11 and he can pretty much enjoy his own evenings in his room doing what he likes to do...alot of the time after spending the entire day with him he wants to lay in my bed and watch tv with me...

This is not what I want. I don't want to have to monitor what I'm watching on tv or only watch Animal Planet just so he can watch with me! I completely understand ALONE TIME!lol

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

1. You are not alone in your feelings.

2. Who says motherhood is about sacrificing? I didn't... you didn't... did you? All those Mama's out there that 'give up' their lives to raise or have kids, doesn't know a thing about how to fulfill herself so that she can be the best Mama imaginable... sacrifial or not. Motherhood is about passing on and raising great humans... not seeing how many things a person can give up for her kids. That's not how good Mama's are made.

3. Your kids are still small. You will get that alone time soon enough, and when you do, you will crave the attention they once gave you... trust me. Ask me how I know.

4. my kids get on my last nerve... and I usually say in a loud voice.
"I'm going on Time Out.., if you know what's good for you... stay far away." Then I go do what I want for while. It's good for kids to see that you take time for you too. It will give them silent permission to handle their time similarly and to be introspective at times.

Hope this helped.

sheila said...

No, you are not. I get up atleast a half hour early on school days, just to get a cup of coffee in me before they wake up and some type of arguing sets in. And during the summer and days off? I have informed everyone I know NOT to call the house phone earlier than 10am. I tell them in no uncertain terms that I value my time alone and they better not wake them up. lol So no, you are SO not alone!

Simply AnonyMom said...

i too crave alone time, but when I get it I can not stop doing things that need to get done so it is wasted. I also really dislike the kids waking earlier than I planned because it throws off the whole day/routine and almost always ends in tears (from the kids).

I hope you do get some alone time either later today or tonight.

Kristina P. said...

I value my alone time so much. I really worry about the lack of it when we have children.

CENA - My.M.Spot said...

oh yeah. i totally feel that way at least some point everyday. we've been cooped up in our house together for 5 days due to snow and below 0 temps and to say that we are sick of each other is an understatement. and my patience is 10 times worse since i'm pregnant......

you absolutely have to have that "me" time! don't feel bad about it.

Seeker said...

You are not alone!!! When my children were small I used a timer...first made sure they wanted for nothing, peed, and had a drink. Then i set the timer for 15 mins. Just for me. Then longer as they grew older... as they learned i wasn't going to move for that time, i got more time for me to do what i wanted. The most important thing i taught them was that i was not JUST a mother...i was a person in my own right....teach them that early

blueviolet said...

You know what? It's really hard and I totally understand how you're feeling. If I don't get some time to myself every day, I start to get a little crazy. It's like a recharging, re-energizing time or something. I'm with you, Mimi!

Denise said...

:( I feel this way too - a lot. It sucks and I feel so guilty about it! I am glad I am not the only one!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

You are most certainly not alone. I, too, need my alone time. And, as you can imagine, with 6 kids, there is none. Ever. Never ever never.

And, as if you couldn't tell, today is a horribly bad day. So I'm feeling you. Bigtime.

Debateur said...

You're not crazy. In my mind that is what TV is for and believe me we lean on it from time to time.

Minxy Mimi said...

Thank you all for the comments and empathy. It feels good to at least not be alone in this.
Saundra, I know you are right. Thank you so much for your help!

The Wife O Riley said...

I feel like this all the time. Not to mention that I work full-time and I feel that my weekends are just to play catch up on the errands and housework that didn't get done during the week.

You are not alone Sister!

Ann said...

You are completely and totally NOT alone!!!
Having time just for you is so important.
I totally get you.

Brandi said...

You are not alone. Even as Moms we still need and deserve an occassional alone time or else the resentment is hard to let go of. You deserve it.

What time do your kids go to bed at night? My boys are off to bed by 9:00 and I get an hour or two once they are down.

mommasreview said...

I feel your pain. As a mom time alone is so precious so when you plan some and it doesn't happen it almost breaks your heart.

Just remember you will get that time alone eventually - hopefully sooner rather than later!

Jess @ NBP said...

I do feel this way A LOT more than I really should actually. Makes for a depressed Jessica. I need to stay off the computer more and spend time with them.

Martha said...

Just found your blog! I totally understand the "me time". I too get up early in the morning, and have come to think of that time as my time. When my daughter was younger I would get so frustrated, now she knows if she is up (she is 11) that she needs to leave me alone! I don't want to talk during that time, I just want to be alone and quiet.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

You are definitely not alone! I get cranky when my 'Me' time gets messed up...and yes, I do get up early so I can have some 'Me' time, and feel 'robbed' when the Princess Nagger wakes up at the same time...when normally she sleeps in! ;)