Monday, September 15, 2008

Maiden names, did you keep yours?

I was reading a blog and it raised a question about men wanting a boy to carry on the family name. It got me to wondering... did my women readers (I think my only readers...LOL) keep their maiden name or take on your husbands name and why? Do you think it is wrong, disrespectful, ect to keep your maiden name and not take on your husbands name? Or do you think its empowering to keep your maiden name? What do you think of men taking on their wives name? In this day and age, does it really even matter?

18 comments:

Simply AnonyMom said...

When I married my first husband I married young. I took his name because that is what I thought was expected (not what I necessarily was looking forward to doing). When we divorced 8 years later I thought it would be easy to change back to my maiden name. However it was not going to be cheap so I kept it. THen I met someone and had a whirlwind relationship. He told me I did not have to take his name, but I did not want to keep my ex's name so I took his name. Now that we have children together (and the kids have hubbys name) I will keep his last name even if we divorce so it is easier with the kids and what not.

I do nto think it is necessary to take your husbands name.

Wendi said...

I took dh's name....just because for one simple fact......I could not wait to get rid of my bio dad's name!!! yes, pretty shitty of me in some ways, but if you knew my bio dad, you would totally understand why when presented with the opportunity to change from it I jumped on the chance!!! no more association to him!!! and for me the less association to him the better!!!

but hey more power to those of you that kept your maiden names!! it just was not for me......

R.L.Scovens said...

I don't see anything wrong with keeping your name. I took my ex husbands and I'm glad I did so my son and I have the same name.

Darcie said...

I took my husband's name and were I to go through it again, I'd take it again. I don't think it's a matter of respect, really, more a matter of honoring tradition. I love tradition, I can't help it!

That said, I don't understand women wanting to keep their maiden names. *shrug* I don't think you lose your identity by changing your last name. Your identity is who you are, not what you're called.

Harmony said...

I took my first husband's name, then got my maiden name back, then took my second husband's name. My maiden name is very common, so I don't have a strong sense of need to continue it, KWIM?

The Stiletto Mom said...

Well first I tried that whole hyphenated thing. Bad since I use both my first names...Mary and Anne. So I became Mary Anne of the formerly so and so clan, now of the new clan with a hyphen. Which is confusing. Finally I gave up, and just use my married name because 22 letters (sans hyphen) is too much for anyone to type. I do wish, however, I had kept my maiden name for professional use...just a little link back to my old self where I built my life before marrying. Oh well.

Susan said...

I took all of my husbands names (yikes lol) then I changed my name back to my maiden after each one.

However, I never rushed out to change my name to theirs. It was usually months before I would get around to it.

Melbel said...

I did not pick up my husband's name. We've been married only since last November and we married across state and because of my state's laws and his state's laws, I have to go through some massive weird paperwork first. I run a business names after his last name HISLASTNAMEHERE Media, LLC and I plan on changing my name to match in the future.

Minxy Mimi said...

I kept my maiden name...not for any reason in particular, I just do not deal well with paperwork! My husband has a cool last name, but mine is just as cool, and one Ive used personally and professionally for 34 years before I married. My children have my husbands last name. In Italy where my family come from, men also changed their names! It is not uncommon there. I was interested to hear that when I visited. Either way works for me. I may get around to changing mine on our 10th anniversary!

Fabulously40 said...

For traditional purposes, taking on your husbands name is something that I have always wanted to do. I have actually never thought back to why women do this, or even doubted it.

I do know many men that have wives that do not want to change their names, and this has created a big problem.

I feel as if this is a power struggle for men. Not having their wives change their name is as if they are losing some kind of hierarchical status.

Sad, but that is how they see it.

I can say that if I did not have a brother who would carry out our family name...i may just put my foot down and keep my maiden name!

Katie Lyons said...

When I first got married I kept all my names, which equaled out to 1 first name, 2 middle names, and 3 last names....I thought it looked cool on my social security card, lol. But in about 2 weeks I brought it down to having just 1 last name. I guess I'm into tradition, though I think it's fine for others to do whatever they like :)

Trisha said...

I took my hubby's name just because I loved the idea of having his name and being married. However, looking back and realizing now my dad has no boys to carry on his name I kinda wished I would have hyphened it.

Emily ~ Little Window Shoppe said...

I took my husbands last name, but have friends who "shared" their names and hyphened them together. I also have friends who have taken the girl's name.

PogoMama said...

My husband had a much better last name than I did, much more pleasing to the ear. So I took on his but I dropped my middle name and put my maiden name in its place. My own full name was my identity for so long that I didn't want to change it completely. But I grew up hating my middle name (I was named after a golf course, unfortunately) so I was glad to be rid of it.

Denise said...

I did both. I keep my maiden name for business and on one credit card (because they need a copy of a bunch of stuff to switch the name) but use my married name (which honestly - I don't like) for everything else!

Kristin said...

I am engaged but not married and I will tell you I am proud of who I am. I will always keep my name. There is a long draw out story about my family and needless to say it's my love and respect that will keep me with the last name I was given at birth. Plus doesn't Kristin Ruiz sound bad? ack!

Holly said...

I took my husband's name. Stole it. I've been holding it ransom and dangling it over his head for the last twenty-four years. I liked my maiden name fine; I guess it was tradition that made me change it, as much as anything. But I think a husband and wife should make those decisions based on their own beliefs and values; it shouldn't really matter to anyone else.

JLT6907 said...

No, I changed my name to his. It's the respectful thing to do when you marry. And I wish I would have done all this the first time around. My first daughter was born out of wedlock, and I gave her my maiden name. Then we married and had another daughter who has his last name. It's very stressful explaining to people that they have the same father. I became a widow at the time we seperated, and was dating someone else. I got pregnant and she has her father's last name ( who im married to now ). So confusing!