Why am I the way I am? Why are us addictive personality types this way? I obsess, I stew, I ponder, I spend hours and hours thinking and dreaming and tossing and turning over my obsessions. Whether it is this
And even this!!!
I wonder why I am this way... I do it with food, clothes, celebrities...I think I want to lose myself, my worries, my fears for awhile, so I focus on inconsequential things. Lately its been this blog!
I wish in a way I did not worry so much, care so much...but I do. I wonder what its like to be able to leave things behind, be what everyone wants me to be...I wonder what its like to not crave everything. I feel like there is so much to me, I get lost in it sometimes...
But then I see passionless people, people who care only for bigger cars, being thin, and what money can buy them and I realize that with all my flaws, I am most likely a happier, more well adjusted person than I think I am. Or so I hope...
Sorry, I am a bit down today, I think I need a new obsession!!! LOL