Thursday, February 5, 2009

I have made progress!

I have started a new eating regimen... I do not starve myself, I just eat healthier, low calorie meals and snacks. I do have a free day on the weekend and I look forward to that ALL week! I have now lost in three weeks 5 lbs!!! YAY I look better, feel better, and I feel like I can keep this up...for the first time in my life. I am sure I will fall off the wagon and eat a whole cheesecake one day, or a giant cinnabon... but I am making a promise to myself to be better. I want my kids to be healthy individuals and how can I get them to make better choices if I do not?

But, I have to admit part of me is torn on my happiness with such an insignificant thing (in the general scheme of life) The goal of my life is to be happy, be kind, raise moral, gentle, kind and ethical children, live life to the fullest and feel every emotion and not hold back. Ive accomplished this, especially in these last 5 years. Ive gotten married to a wonderful man, gained a whole new awesome family... had two amazing children, adopted three wonderful kitties and been through good and bad, enlightenment and disillusionment... and Ive come out on top! I made it through.... so why does losing weight mean so much to me?

It makes me feel shallow. It makes me feel like I am conforming to society and their expectations and restrictions. It makes me feel like I am like those silly women who ask always "does my butt look big in this?" (sorry if that's you and I offend you, but I don't get it... we are all so worried and I am sure no-one but us notices)
I don't want to be like everyone else so I can fit in, and never get a second glance. I don't want to live my life worrying about the size of my butt. I want to eat, I want to enjoy my food, I want to savor a piece of cheesecake, a piece of pizza, fried shrimp...without beating myself up and feeling like a failure.

So, I am proud that Ive made better choices for myself... but I want to be doing it for the right reasons. I don't want to do it to be the ideal woman (per the media) I have no desire to look like Kate Moss on drugs.
But I do want to be here for these guys...

Photobucket

I guess that's worth conforming to society after all.

18 comments:

Jess @ NBP said...

That's wonderful Mimi!! Keep up the good work.

Kristina P. said...

I don't think it's shallow to feel the best, and look the best you possibly can be.

Great work!

Jen said...

Great job Minx! Don't feel shallow. Mommy's need to take care of themselves too!:)

Seeker said...

Hey girl..that isn't shallow. it's making sure you are at your best for you and those you love. my thoughts are this....you have to be the best you that you can be..otherwise you are giving others less than you should. go for it...BE THE BEST!!!

Deb@Mommie Mayhem said...

Great job ! I wish I could get my mojo back ... I gained back 50 of the 100 lbs lost :(

Lana said...

You're not conforming to society! You're making a choice for YOU!!
Yay YOU!!

Michelle said...

That isn't shallow at all! You are trying to be more healthy. Go you!

Susan said...

That is awesome Mimi! Eating right and being healthy is not conforming, it is being responsible for your health and well-being, and if you happen to lose a few lbs in the process then that is great too.

R.L.Scovens said...

Great progress!! Keep going! We're both on our way to being healthier for our kids!

LadyStyx said...

That's why I've been so willing to stay on my new eating regiment...because Im doing it for the right reasons. Im not doing it because I want others to see me any different (I spent a good part of my life having others look down on me so I've gotten so I dont care what others think about me), Im not doing it to keep my husband (this one loves me just as I am)....I AM doing it because Im sick and tired of being sick and tired. Im tired of my knees, ankles and feet aching from holding all the weight, not to mention my back from supporting the weight up front. Im tired of the pains I was getting in my legs. Im tired of feeling bloated and getting winded walking out of a restaurant. Just knowing that eating right and adding a little exercise to my daily routine is helping me feel better is enough to keep me going (except when Im not feeling well...like this week).

Anonymous said...

Absolutely Shell! It isn't about conforming or being shallow or whatever. It is about being healthy and staying healthy to watch your kids grow up. And you will be teaching them to be healthy too. Plus I want you to stay healthy so that you are always around for me!!! (selfish huh?)

From Jeannette (your sister)

Kathy B! said...

I agree with what everyone else said! God, I'm so original sometimes it just kills me :)

There's losing weigh for vanity's sake, and doing it to stay healthy. Two totally different goals, and YOU are on the right track.

Nicely done :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Congrats! That is why I had weight loss surgery...to be around for my children & grandchildren, and to be able to keep up with them!

sheila said...

I don't believe it's conforming to society, I think it's all about conforming to your mind and what it wants. You know what's best and you'll feel a brazillion times better in many many ways. Congrats on your decision and good luck on your journey! Here's to good health!

Minxy Mimi said...

Thanks you guys! I appreciate your thoughful comments!

blueviolet said...

That's the bottom line, Mimi. We want to live long and healthy lives because the thought of not being there for our kids and then our grandkids is just not acceptable.

JenReg said...

Good job! Your boys are adorable. You are inspiring to me...I've got try a little harder. Keep up the good work!

Toni said...

That's great Mimi!