Thursday, December 18, 2008

Welcome to my life

I would leave before this gets messy...

I need help, advice, a firm talking too, maybe even a time out.

My oldest child bit another at daycare. My kids have went from "My best boys" (per our daycare lady) to sassy boys. They have been there 1.5 years now. Max bit one time and after we talked to him, it hasn't happened again. Jack never has...until yesterday. I asked him why, he couldn't explain other than the other child scratched him... what do I do? I talked to him, explained different things he can do and say... I just feel like the absolute worst, neglectful and loser mom in the whole world.

He doesn't have a broken home, we don't beat him... but we yell. I have been on a mission to stop the yelling and deal with naughty behavior in a calm and quick manner.

I feel like such a jerk, like a loser and like the worst mom ever. Please help me and give me some advice or reassurance or stories...anything.

16 comments:

kel said...

oh honey.. we all yell. We all lose it sometimes. Just try to remember to take a deep breath and walk away for a few minutes if you have to.
Hugs!

Kristen said...

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink...or stop biting

Simply AnonyMom said...

YOU are an awesome mom. YOU are not responsible for him biting. I know my AJ never bit anyone, ever, until about 2 weeks ago. KJ was bugging him (meanign she was full on punching and kicking him)so he bit her...hard. She immediately stopped and has not been as rougfh with him since. We told him not to hit or punch her or any girl and he did not know how to defend himself.

I think maybe your boy iss the same thing? Soemone bugged him to a point where he primally did the only thing he knew to get them to immediately stop them.

While I am not saying keep yelling, I am saying please do not blame yourself and know that we all love you and know what a great job you do raising your boys.

~HUGS!~

Brandi said...

You are not a bad parent. I think every child is going to bite at least one person. I wouldn't press the issue too much unless he makes it a habit.

ciara said...

you are doing the best you can. not gonna be able to have control 24/7, but you've talked to him...he understands. if the talking helped w the first, i'm sure it will help w him, too :) don't beat yourself up, k? (((hugs)))

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

Oh girlfriend... IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US!

I would only worry if you didn't care about it. The fact that you feel horrible shows what a great Mama you are.

Yell? puhleeeze... they don't call us the LOUD family around these parts for nothing!

His biting is NOT your fault... it's a way of defending himself... he won't go through life as a vampire... I promise you.
Your talking to him, and reminding him daily of how he is supposed to handle these things will sink in.

Rejoice! At least he isn't the type of kid that is going to go through life as a victim!!! He's got hutzpah! (I know... that doesn't sound right... but remember mine are 14, 12 and 9, and I have been through this a few times.)

{{{love ya}}}

S

Kristina P. said...

I know that a lot of kids go through this. It's not your fault. You aren't a bad parent. I am so sorry you have to deal with this!

Megryansmom said...
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Minxy Mimi said...

Thanks you guys, I appreciate your honest and kind comments and reassurance... Ive been beating myself up over this. I want to be a good mom and have happy, adjusted kiddos. I hate when I doubt myself.
(((HUGS)) to ALL of you!

Andrea said...

Seriously, don't get too upset. Every child acts up ever ynow and then. There must be someone at daycare that pisses him off. Sounds like he got scratched and acted back. All you can do is talk to them about it and reassure them that is not the right way to respond and tell them the right thing to do.

Karyn with a Y said...

You are an awesome mom! Like anything else we try to teach our children it doens't always happen like we'd like. Just stay consistant with his punishment and I'm sure he'll get it.

Karyn with a Y said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julia said...

Not to worry, I think. Your kid is just experimenting with boundaries. Normal and to be expected. I would just keep talking about it in a real casual, by the way.. manner about how we don't bite others and how bad it feels to get bitten...but not berate the kid about it. Also about finding an adult first when there's trouble.

Saw you on the Blogstalkers site so I came for a visit!

sheila said...

We're yellers too. I get pissed at myself because I don't want to be a yeller, but....

We then tried the calm thing for a year, and that didn't make any difference.

Tell him if he bites someone he could get a horrible disease. Or worms. That should do it.

HeatherL said...

Awww, Mimi!! (((hugs))) You are a wonderful Mama who loves her children. I can't imagine how your yelling has anything to do with your son biting someone. That's a really common *thing* esp in daycares. You'll work it out. No worries. You're a great mom.

Toni said...

Mimi you are an awesome mommy. It is just a phase I promise it sucks, mine went through it with me so I can sympathize but it will pass.