Forgive me my few loyal readers for this very public post that you might not have any idea of what I am talking about. I wish to clear the air, have my thoughts out here for the bloggy world to see. I have changed the names of the innocent and guilty! I refuse to have my words taken out of context so here is my explanation for my actions. Perhaps this is wrong of me to do, but as my friendship was tossed out many months ago like an old broken down toy that is not of use anymore... why keep it in? My first loyalty now must go to myself and my friends who have given me the courtesy to listen to me and believe in me and my quite possibly flawed but always good intentions.
This is not a goodbye letter/post, this is just my way of telling you why I may not be on the forum anymore. This is not a bash letter either. I don't do that, I am not that type of person. I am leaving and its been a long time coming, the only thing that has kept me there was all of you. I care for all of you. But, I cannot stay and keep my sanity and my self respect because I am unhappy.
Yes, my main issue is with the Queen Bee. I have seen a difference in the Queen Bee and the way she deals with people who do not agree with her and I cannot stand by and just keep my mouth shut, so for me, it is better to leave instead of saying things that will not be considered or pondered. They will be misconstrued as jealousy, or anger or spite and that is not it at all. I would love to stay on in some capacity, but I feel that I cannot. I plan on reconnecting with people that I have been "forbidden" to have anything other than minimal contact with, and I am afraid although my intentions are well meant, it will not be acceptable. I am not leaving because you are unimportant to me, because you are...its just I have to do what I feel is right for me right now. There is a bit more to the situation, but as I said, I do not wish this to be a bash letter.
As I said, the thing that kept me there is all of you and the friendships I have. But I now realize I just cannot let what I feel affect me in this way, or affect the forum in this way. It isn't fair to me or you. Remember though, I am always an e-mail away...please do not hesitate to let me know how you are. No matter what you hear this is my real reason, and I think after all the years you have all known me, you KNOW me... I tell the truth, I tell it like I feel, I do not lie or spread rumors or try to hurt people. That's something I want you to remember if you hear anything that doesn't sound right to you. The trip girls who met me know this is the real me.
I just wanted to let you all know without all the smoke screens, rumors, or spinning that might go along with my departure. I hope I am wrong, or so unimportant now that this will not happen. Maybe no-one will notice I am gone! I hope you can understand where I am coming from and believe me (as you always have before) that what I say here is what is the truth. I was truthful enough to admit fault when I left the board and came back once before. I am not afraid of the truth. I am an honest, if flawed person. Please take care and remember I am always here if you need anything.