Monday, October 6, 2008

Leaving the hive and the Queen Bee to fend for herself

Forgive me my few loyal readers for this very public post that you might not have any idea of what I am talking about. I wish to clear the air, have my thoughts out here for the bloggy world to see. I have changed the names of the innocent and guilty! I refuse to have my words taken out of context so here is my explanation for my actions. Perhaps this is wrong of me to do, but as my friendship was tossed out many months ago like an old broken down toy that is not of use anymore... why keep it in? My first loyalty now must go to myself and my friends who have given me the courtesy to listen to me and believe in me and my quite possibly flawed but always good intentions.



Hey Girls!

This is not a goodbye letter/post, this is just my way of telling you why I may not be on the forum anymore. This is not a bash letter either. I don't do that, I am not that type of person. I am leaving and its been a long time coming, the only thing that has kept me there was all of you. I care for all of you. But, I cannot stay and keep my sanity and my self respect because I am unhappy.

Yes, my main issue is with the Queen Bee. I have seen a difference in the Queen Bee and the way she deals with people who do not agree with her and I cannot stand by and just keep my mouth shut, so for me, it is better to leave instead of saying things that will not be considered or pondered. They will be misconstrued as jealousy, or anger or spite and that is not it at all. I would love to stay on in some capacity, but I feel that I cannot. I plan on reconnecting with people that I have been "forbidden" to have anything other than minimal contact with, and I am afraid although my intentions are well meant, it will not be acceptable. I am not leaving because you are unimportant to me, because you are...its just I have to do what I feel is right for me right now. There is a bit more to the situation, but as I said, I do not wish this to be a bash letter.


As I said, the thing that kept me there is all of you and the friendships I have. But I now realize I just cannot let what I feel affect me in this way, or affect the forum in this way. It isn't fair to me or you. Remember though, I am always an e-mail away...please do not hesitate to let me know how you are. No matter what you hear this is my real reason, and I think after all the years you have all known me, you KNOW me... I tell the truth, I tell it like I feel, I do not lie or spread rumors or try to hurt people. That's something I want you to remember if you hear anything that doesn't sound right to you. The trip girls who met me know this is the real me.

I just wanted to let you all know without all the smoke screens, rumors, or spinning that might go along with my departure. I hope I am wrong, or so unimportant now that this will not happen. Maybe no-one will notice I am gone! I hope you can understand where I am coming from and believe me (as you always have before) that what I say here is what is the truth. I was truthful enough to admit fault when I left the board and came back once before. I am not afraid of the truth. I am an honest, if flawed person. Please take care and remember I am always here if you need anything.


Mimi

22 comments:

Moo said...

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to ned a friendship that has turned toxic... its not easy, but in the long run it will be the best thing. You know I support you no matter what YOUR choice is, you are a grown woman after all and no one has the right ti dictate who you can be friends with. I just regret that it has come to this.

And hello, to any copy and pasters out there...

My3sons said...

I have learned through the years that you have to look out for your own happiness. Life is only so long. If someone is treating you and those you care about badly, the best course of action is to take care of you and yours. And acquaintances come and go but real friends will be there for you no matter what and never intentionally make you umhappy.

JLT6907 said...

Mimi, i dont even know what to say. But good for you for standing up for what you believe in.

Denise said...

Oh my. We really do have a lot in common! I was on a forum where I pretty much wrote this same letter. It was SUCH a hard thing for me to go through but honestly...looking back - it was the VERY BEST thing I could have done. I felt a real sadness when I left but now I feel a HUGE weight released off my shoulders!

I am sorry you are going through this because I know just how shitty it feels!

Simply AnonyMom said...

I was in a group like that and wrote a very similar letter once. nfortunatley for me the Queen B kept spewing her vile about me after I left and still to this day (nearly 3 years later) I have friends who think I am satan because if it. It is horrible.

I hope you feel better and have a sort of peace.

Thank you for the award last week. I posted it today. IT makes me smile seeing it. Thank you again! You are terribly sweet.

organicyogamom said...

I am always awed by how small minded folks can be - why are all the forums run in that same way? Okay not all - I am on one whihc has kept the politicking to an bsolute minimum but i think it's becasue it's so small! Anyway - power to you for taking your stand!

Anita
www.organicyogamom.com

Minxy Mimi said...

Thank you all!
How wonderful it is to have people who understand what I am going through. I just wish the person who I write about here could actually see what I am trying to say and just realize that I am not spiteful, I wish this person could just see that I tried my best to be a good friend, but sometimes you have to let go when you hit a brick wall. It makes me really sad.

Susan said...

You gotta do what is right for you. You know who your friends are. Those of us who consider you our friend are the lucky ones.

Kristin said...

Let me tell you how very sorry I am, I know how bad it hurts. You need to be ahppy and I know that others will respect you for it. You are just being you, honest, caring, all of it. I know you as a blogger, that's it. So that's what I think of you.

Just know that you are not alone. Queen Bee has done this and will continue to. She will be her own downfall... like any other bee.

Senart Family said...

Mimi I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult and painful it can be putting so much of yourself into relationships to then find out they are not what you thought. It's very sad that people can't see how they negatively affect others so much of a great scale. You have to do what is best for you. This is why I left as well. It was too much. I loved the people (for the most part) but when it becomes a chore or exhausting just to be on the same board with people then it's time to go. I hope you find some peace and are doing well.

Kristin said...
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Kristin said...
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allisonw said...

I'm sorry you're going thru this, i know it can be very difficult.

i tried to convince myself that things would change, people would realize that by controlling people they weren't growing friendships but breeding hatred. Sadly some people will never change no matter what and will pride themselves on being disliked.

I'm not one of those people and i never thought you were either.

One true friend is better than a million people who just pretend to be.

Sandra said...

Hey Mimi, I am sorry that you are going through this. It sucks. You are an awesome person. Nobody has the right to tell you who you are allowed to be friends with and who you are allowed to talk to. Great blog.

Kelly said...

You have to look out for yourself and your feelings. I know that you are a true friend and its one of the many things I admire about you! (((hugs)))

Agata said...

(((hugs)))

It's hard to break some old ties. But sometimes it's necessary to break certain ties in order to keep other ones - and make new ones.

All of us who consider you to be a great friend know that you're honest and real. It's admirable and I personally feel honored to be your friend. Other people's loss is our gain :)

Nicole said...

Aggie said it best- their loss is our gain. Mimi, I know you and I have had our disagreements but I always enjoy hearing your opinions on things. I'm glad to have the chance again to "see" you online from day to day without having to deal with all that other nonsense. Good for you for taking a difficult step to get rid of that toxicity in your life.

Debateur said...

Mimi you and I have a future date. I am going to fly in to San Fran and you are going to take me on a Tour of the Sonoma Valley wineries and I am going to spend a bucket full of money !

Minxy Mimi said...

YAY!!!
When is the big San Fran trip???

I am excited!

Denise said...

Maybe you should start a message board of your own! :) I will join! :)

Minxy Mimi said...

Denise!
Its in process... just beware, there might be some Harry Potter talk!!!

Toni said...

You know how I feel about everything missy poo! I puffy heart ya and am so glad to have you and so many others in my life.