My 10 biggest fears

I borrowed this off either my friend Darcies Blog or my other friend Denise's blog
But anyways... its My 10 biggest fears. I think most are the same as all of us.

1. Dying. Not Death... I am OK with being dead... I just don't want to have to go thru the dying part... taking my last breath...will it hurt? Will I cry? Will I have regrets? I hope I do not have many regrets. I hope I lived my life regret free.
To be selfish... I hope people cry for me.

2. My children and my husband dying or getting hurt. I am sure this is every mothers fear (and wife's) to imagine a life without our children... our husband, our reasons to live. Its scary, its terrifying and it is something I hope never happens. I do not want to outlive my children. I complain about them all at times, but to not have them around? I cannot imagine. No laughs, no fighting? no back rubs, no "I love yous" That's not a life I want to live.



3. Spiders and other creepy crawly things. I don't have to explain this one, do I? Resizing this picture made me feel all wierd and creeped out... UGH



4. The dark. I sleep with the lights on in the hallway and closet. I fear the dark in such a primitive way. I don't know how I would have lived in the olden times with no electricity. For punishment when I was younger my mom used to lock me in my room and forbid me to turn the lights on... being a child, I did what she said. Even to this day, this decision on her part is still affecting me. I struggle not to let my fears transfer to my children.

5. Balloons and rubber bands. I have a fear of balloons popping and rubber bands breaking. I don't know why it is so, but it is.

6. I fear murder. I am always afraid I will be murdered, kidnapped and hurt. I think this also stems from my mom reading true Detective magazines... as a kid I looked through them and some of the things I read still haunt me today.

7. Ghosts. Dumb, I know... Yet, I still watch "Most Haunted Live" Its not like I live in a haunted house, or have,,, its just the idea of something or someone there that I cannot see... someone that went through something tragic... It just gives me the heebie jeebies. Right now, while I write this, I have goose bumps!




8. I fear poverty. I have been dirt poor... I fear poverty and not having enough food. I hate that food is something so important in my life. I wish I could just be neutral about it and let it just be an aspect in my life... but I cannot.

9. I fear Doctors. My knees shake, I sweat, I want to cry and run away. I cant eat or sleep... When I had my two children luckily a part of my mind shut down. If I can barely handle a finger prick without freaking out how could I handle giving birth I wondered. I ended up having a C/S and letting my mind go. I had too. I don't know how, but I did it...

10. I fear losing our planet and its species due to our own neglect/apathy/disrespect and being unconcerned. I know many don't believe in global warming... but there has to be consequences for the havoc and pollution we have reigned down on our beautiful planet. I don't want to live a life without Humongous Whales, Proud Lions, Lumbering Elephants and Wily Monkeys. Lets stop living just for ourselves and start realizing the choices we make today are the decisions that are shaping our future.